Friday, November 10, 2006

I AM TROLL


Read input and manipulate files on Linux systems with PHP scripts - Program - Linux - Builder AU



If you are already familiar with PHP code for Web sites, then you'll find it works great for command-line scripting on Linux systems. [...] using PHP on the command-line works fantastic and fast. [...] Perhaps one of the biggest functions of any scripting language in a script is to manipulate files and obtain user input. PHP handles this with as much grace as any other scripting language.



I couldn't believe this post and I really can't believe how angry it made me! Here's the comment I submitted but I don't think they'll post it:



It's almost like you don't even know what the words "fast", "easy", "works", "fantastic", and "grace" actually mean!!!




This post is ridiculous! PHP is none of those things. It's slow, broken, inconsistent and clunky!




PHP is one of the my top three languages in terms of lines of code written for employers. I have work experience with at least half a dozen. I have studied language design and implementation. I've reviewed PHP's source along side other dynamic languages. There is no language, (which i have experience with) which i have a lower opinion of!




I know this is a flame but I just don't care. PHP's lack of consistency and awkward implementation have wasted my time on occasions too numerous to count. If i can stop just one programmer or project manager from thinking that PHP will bring them one single advantage over most alternatives, then this flame was worth it!!!



I'll chalk all this up as evidence towards my recent realization: The attraction to PHP that some feel and the difficulty breaking away from it is not entirely unlike those of in a relationship with an abusive partner!

1 comment:

Rantinator said...

Whoa, slow down. You seem to claim that some people do not want to stop using PHP? That just doesn't make sense.

Those people would be saying something like:

"
Some of the time my keyboard doesn't work. Some days some developer has moved a bunch of keys around so it doesn't work the same.

I have to read the documentation to figure out which of the nine 'e' keys I need to press in any given sentence.

Whenever I want to type a word that I have not typed before I have to get the tech's to spend a couple days upgrading and testing my new keyboard.

I have to test the upgraded keyboard to make sure that all of the sentences I typed before can be typed on the upgraded keyboard. Most of the time I have to rewrite some of my sentences.

I am sure glad I don't have to use a different keyboard technology from this one.
"

Now who in the world would say something like that?